things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize