My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
