it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
