he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
