i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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