just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
