I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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