There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
