You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
