Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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