u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
