my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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