friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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