it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
