One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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