i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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