you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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