you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
