Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
