I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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