Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
