I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
