brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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