U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
