I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
