I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
