Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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