just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
