I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
