Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize