i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My life is pants optional.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
