I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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