have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
