Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
3pm strippers are depressing
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
