i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
