so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
