You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
