Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
