i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
