do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
