His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
