so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
