People in love make me want to vomit
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
