The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
His hands were made for my vagina.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Who died my cat blue again?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
