around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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