i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
