i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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