he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
