I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
tell me about the fingering
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