It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I need a beard to bite.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
