Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
this hospital has no fireball
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize