God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
