What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
