Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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