I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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