It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
