Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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