I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
