i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
