she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
