My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
