I heard we made out
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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