the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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