i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
