Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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