Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Randomize
