Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
